Prayer…

Lord, forgive me for the times I’ve failed to share my personal resources with You and others, especially when there are so many people in need. Help me to see all the potential good that even the smallest gifts You’ve given me can do. Give me the faith and the compassion to wholeheartedly offer them up to You so that others may be blessed and You may be glorified. – Amen “Life on Purpose Devotional”

Love hard… that’s me!

Had a late lunch with a friend… We talked about life and loving hard, where we are at and where we are going. The question proposed to me was “Why did you stop?”

Why this question caught me off guard was because it was a question I have never been asked before. “Why did I stop being me?”

Some much can happen and so much can change in the blink of an eye, but somewhere down the line I had stopped being me. I had forgotten how to love and the people who knew of that type of love are the ones that felt the void. Little did I know. Some I know, took my love for granted but I am also reminded from my friend today that forgiveness isn’t an option when we are in Christ. There is much that we cannot understand and so much we probably do not agree, but forgiveness is a given when we have been forgiven. When the forgiveness from the One who truly matters most touches our life, we are moved with compassion to forgive others. Even when it still hurts.

I truly thought that with all that has been lost and all that is no longer the same that my heart would/ should be choosy who I let in and why. But as I sat with my friend I was reminded why I loved so hard to begin with.

It wasn’t for you. It isn’t because of you. It’s because of me. It’s because this who I am. Mo. The woman who loves hard, that doesn’t give up and who is uniquely designed and shaped this way. And I wont apologize for being who God created me to be. Regardless of the price I have to pay.

I wanted to grow cold, I wanted to stay far away but Someone has never let me do that fully. Even when it made the most sense, still the most logical thing couldn’t keep me from being me.

Where will my heart lead me next, I don’t know. But I am willing to step out in faith and try. I am ready for love…

Today’s Highlight: My friend who reminded me of why I do what I do and why I love it so much. “Thank you for assuring me, my love wasn’t in vain. I love you!”

-In His love,

Mo

Open up your Heart!

Outta no where…

There are days where I get so inspired to write about life and about all that is going on around me… It isn’t this profound deep revelation except it sorta is for me… hard to describe, I know. But it happens to me especially those moments I am in awe of how much my God loves me. I mean, He loves me… and I feel His love. There is nothing special about today except I am inspired by all this creativeness brewing inside of me, that I have ignored for quite sometime. I can’t put into words, but I am excited… So, excited to see what’s next.

It began when I found out Eli planned a trip for me. I trip! For me! Just us! It was perfect. People ask, “So, how was it? Did you have a good time?” I can only simply respond, that it was perfect… Wanna know why? Maybe not, but I’m gonna tell you anyway… Because he had me in his mind all along! My husband had ME in mind ALL ALONG! If at ever any point you have crossed paths with me, you would have known that I was sick. And yes, I say sick, because depression is an illness that without being treated you can lose your mind entirely. And that is what was slowly happening to me without me ever once noticing. It wasn’t until those closest around me started to show signs of weirdness. My family, bless their hearts, literally had meetings and convo about how “sick” I was becoming… I felt bad. Lol, for them. Bendito. They cared enough to notice and to gather together as a team to pray for me and love me back whole.

I juggled a lot of hurt. A lot of confusion. It really was a scary place, because it literally felt as though I lost it all. Little did I know, what I have gained is what no person in da world can describe in mere words… I have gained NEW LIFE!

Ahhh… I knew it would be hard to describe what I am feeling but I will attempt.

Close your eyes and embrace all your surroundings. What do you smell? What do you hear? What can you feel? You can hear the voices of the people you love or possibly the wind and what it pushes along in nature… You can smell the Sunday soup being seasoned and touched with flavor… You can feel the feet of this little person you brought into this life and it makes your heart melt every time those toes are in your palms… And how about when you feel the breath of this person you feel the most safest in your world as they push back your hair and kiss your neck… Now you open your eyes…

You actually see the faces of those who have prayed you through your storm. They minister to you daily by just being their normal selves and they draw others to their ministry by being a listening ear and bowl of Sunday soup open for the world to come and partake… And then you see the face of which these tiny toes you helped in bearing stare at you. They call your name and you know their voice and you listen… you taste the Sunday soup made especially for you because no one is ever left out, always welcomed we all are. And then you see the face of your beloved as they lean in to assure you, your scent, your touch, your taste is as important to them as theirs is to you and you feel it…. At those moments you feel it and with every sense in action you know, you are Loved…

This is my new life, and God has corrected my vision. For too long I was focused on the wrongs things, on the wrong people. What I needed was to be reminded that in this life, stuff and things and people go away. Some people die, some stuff gets lost and things just stop working. But once your eyesight is corrected you can now appreciate all the things you once took for granted.

Listen, my husband didn’t take me to some secluded island in Central America, nor did we have the budget to take this trip, but you know what? That was quite ok. Why? Because I felt loved. He had me in mind the whole time and it was perfect. Isn’t it awesome that our God, knows the desires of our hearts better than we do? We think if we only had (fill in the blank) that we would be happy. But sometimes that fill in blank comes and we are still empty. Because God knows whats best and He always has our best interest in mind ALL THE TIME. To be loved, to feel loved, to see it! There are no words for me.

This is what I am feeling… new life  the way God intended and He knows what’s best for me!

I am madly in love with Him and I am madly in love with whom He knew would be best for me. My very best friend, Eli. My partner in life. I may have lost lots, many of which cannot be replaced or easy traded in. But what doesn’t go away is the knowing your accepted and loved by your family. Wether by blood or relationship, that is a gift of da purest form.

Ciao! xoxo

-Mo

Why I disappear…

Some people might ask, “What’s up with Mo? She comes in she goes out. What’s the deal?”

This is why at times I disappear: I am cut from a different cord. The blood that travels in and through to my heart is directly connected to my Savior. Which is why, when people hurt I hurt and when people rejoice I rejoice. But it also stings when hurt is intentional and heartless.

I disappear mainly because when my love tank is empty and I need some time away to re-fuel and re-charge on the love only my Creator can give me. It then gives me the strength to love as I once did, placing all other past failures and crap to the side. I love not because people always love me back… that’s simple. I love because its in my make and model.

And though people may forget my love or no longer want or need it, it isn’t my love I will dish out anymore anyway. It’s the love destined in me to share and not hoard to just those who simply love me back. It’s the kind of love I am being taught to share and give freely as it was once freely given to me.

I disappear because sometimes “your” world is too much for me to handle. Sure some may think I think way too much into things and trust me, I do. Because I rejoice when “you” rejoice and I hurt when “you” hurt.

So, some may not get me. Some may not respect me. Some may think I update too much, tweet too much, talk too much and love too much. Truth really is… “I don’t care what people think.” I know. Sounds hard. But its honest. Thoughts are simply thoughts. They aren’t facts. I am not the president, if you have a question, ask. I love when I need to, I disappear when I need to. If its too much for people to handle, I suggest “you” look for the delete button. I’m not going anywhere. And if I do, its just means I need to be re-charged again…

Holla!

2005 Beetle- Zami’s School Project

Cuties!

Music… what’s that all ’bout?

What is it about music that thrives you? That builds you? That cripples you? The song that makes your hands shake when you hear it? Or the melody that makes you drive a little faster, think a little harder, dream a little bigger or hate on another? What is it that makes you move to a beat, dance to da bass or sing along? What is about music? Does a song tell your story? Does it remind you of your past, or enlighten you to a better future? Do you hear da hidden messages? The good or da bad? Does music trick you into thinking your something your not, or do its words challenge you to be better than what you are? Do you control your music or does it control you? Do think different? Do you live different? Do you move different? Do you act different?

The art of music lies in the “ear” of the beholder… “Both Life & Death are in the power of the tongue…” Music isn’t just words… some songs have no words. Music is art and should be respected as such… it’s the words that bring life or death. What are we confessing?

She is love…

Forever a fav <3

Doc’s visit…

Zami sings her worship songs (Everlasting) and Zech tired of waiting says, “Ma, um I know u have candy in ur purse…” Hilar! They kill me with their random thoughts…